Sobriety is, among other things, the gift of self-awareness. However, there were times when we looked to return it. Uncovering who we are at the core is not always comfortable – but did we dig deep enough? We believe that each of us has foundational values that are as beautiful as they are bold.
We have made it a habit to deep-dive into what makes us tick. We have taken the time to uncover the happiness and hurts of the past (Step 4), those moments that helped shape who we are today. We have invested in understanding those character traits that we have accumulated in life (Step 6) and how they help us or hurt us.
Concentrating on the catalog of conflict, those things that we do that don’t align with who we really are takes practice but is so worth it in the end. This opportunity to grow drives us as we fear stagnation will swallow us up. This gift of self-discovery creates inside us a playbook that we can tap into when we find ourselves at a crossroad.
We addressed how we got here and what was expected of us in Steps 2 and 11. We guess the “who am I” and “why do I exist” questions have existed since the beginning of humanity. These queries can be answered by taking a long look at and identifying with varying “values lists” that are readily available. We found a good one, a list of over 200, at https://scottjeffrey.com/core-values-list/
The point is to accept that when we live in harmony with our true selves, we are in a zone that allows for slippage and forgiveness. Once we connect with what drives us, we can move confidently and make the necessary corrections as we drift through life (Step 10).
We don’t know if we can survive a relapse, a step back into the throws of living in a way that is in conflict with the who that we have become. We know now that we can thrive when we are in sync with our spirit of sobriety. It is in the strained space, the war inside that pits old against new, right against wrong, authenticity against instinct, that unattended uneasiness becomes unbearable, and we are left to crumble or escape.
Separation from who we are deep inside leaves us operating with tools we are not equipped to handle. The healthy recovery tools we have picked up are ineffective if we ignore their existence. Reminding ourselves daily of the beliefs from which we are built keeps us ready for what life will absolutely throw at us.
Today, we know who we are and why we exist. We know that this gift is consistent with the purpose that has been put in our path. Our demeanor and direction are determined internally when we dig into the detail and take action as defined by the beat of our identity.
We embrace and deploy through a filter of the values that drive us: Peace, Boldness, Honesty, Acceptance, Openness, Willingness, Courage, and Discipline.
What drives you?
Thoughts and ideas for this blog post were taken and built upon from sober.coffee podcast #57 titled “Principles” The session dropped 4/30/2022 . Click here to hear the podcast.
Photo by Miltiadis Fragkidis on Unsplash
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Alcoholics Anonymous and AA are registered trademarks of Alcoholics World Service. Inc. References to AA, the 12 steps, and 12 traditions does not mean that AA has reviewed or approved the contents of this publication nor that AA agrees with the views expressed herein. This publication is intended to support personal growth and should not be considered a substitute for healthcare professionals' advice. The author’s advice and viewpoints are their own.
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