SPOILER ALERT: Most people think chameleons change their color as a form of camouflage—this is not true. It is actually temperature, humidity, mating cycles, and mood that cause the change.
For most of our lives, we tried to blend in. If we were to stand out, it would be by overachieving—by attempting to meet the unmet. People-pleasing was and remains a twine in our fabric. Our environment, our emotions, and, yes, our mating cycles drive our actions and appearance.
We have learned a lot from Alcoholics Anonymous's (AA) practices and principles and from its members, who show us how to apply growth elements to our daily lives.
We have witnessed the morphing of madness into magnificence, the transformation of tragedy into tranquility, the shifting from stormy seas to smooth sailing, and the change of chaos into calm. We have seen people transmute from within, their outsides reflecting their true insides. It is a thing of beauty and has become the bar we set for ourselves.
The expectations we set for ourselves require a level of self-awareness that is still very much a work in progress. We are learning to be our real selves and not change based on our environment. As we connect with the authentic us, we exhibit our pure nature. We strive to care less about our likeability and more about our validity.
As for others, we have realized that we can’t alter the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors of anyone but ourselves. We have ceased trying to replace someone's actions with our desires. We can’t change their colors, and we can’t make chameleons fly.
FAST FACT: Though most chameleons eat small insects, foliage, and fruit, some eat smaller chameleons.
We came up devouring all types of poisons, and alcohol just happened to top the list. We lived in the self-serve lane where we consumed what we wanted when we wanted. Cash, cars, clothes, and collectibles were tokens for a broken scoreboard. The more the better was the drum we beat.
Worst of all, we cornered, manipulated, controlled, used, and consumed other humans to satisfy our own distorted wants. We were no better than the chameleon. We accept that as a reality so that we can grow in our reform.
Most days, we have a well-balanced diet. We have learned to serve, offering ourselves as bites to another’s appetite. We invest in humanity, depositing for the good of all while withdrawing the essentials for a peaceful life. Admiration has replaced exploitation.
Stability is the quest, and serenity is the outcome if we stay constant in our actions.
We no longer devour; we deliver. We seek to serve, and that fills our fancy. Some say this is the secret sauce of sobriety. We don’t disagree.
LAST FACT: The chameleon possesses a fast and powerful tongue. It can be up to twice the length of its body and proves deadly to its prey.
Humans, as well, possess a fast and powerful tongue. It helps process food but is mainly used to shape sounds – sometimes for betterment and sometimes for degradation. Though soft and rounded, we have found ours to be hard and sharp at times.
While influenced by alcohol, we often found the filter between the brain and speech to be weak or non-existent. Sounds, words, sentences, and paragraphs would free flow without considering their helpfulness or harm. Too often, the latter was left in the wake of the movement of our most deadly set of muscles.
In our life experience, words are equal to actions that have caused us pain. We acknowledge at the same time that we surely used our mouths to massacre a member of this fine world.
Even post-abstinence, controlling what rolls off our tongues and through our lips is a discipline we regularly fail at. What we have picked up in the rooms of AA is that control is an exercise in restraint that returns tranquility to its fullest. Choosing to support another’s existence through kind and constructive words pays dividends in diamonds versus the coal of cruelty and destruction.
We are better than the lizard, we think. But, there are lessons from the least.
May we prove better in authenticity, diet and actions today.
Thoughts and ideas for this blog post were taken and built upon from sober.coffee podcast # 162 titled “Living in the Bonus.“ … The session dropped on. 5/1/2024 Click here to hear the podcast.
Photo by verdian chua on Unsplash
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Alcoholics Anonymous and AA are registered trademarks of Alcoholics World Service. Inc. References to AA, the 12 steps, and 12 traditions does not mean that AA has reviewed or approved the contents of this publication nor that AA agrees with the views expressed herein. This publication is intended to support personal growth and should not be considered a substitute for healthcare professionals' advice. The author’s advice and viewpoints are their own.
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